THIS ISN’T ME
What has stopped you from following your intuition until now?
Have you ever heard your inner voice telling you…this isn’t it…this isn’t me? I’ve been hearing it in different situations throughout my life, in jobs which didn’t allow me to express my creativity, in relationships where not all of who I’m was welcome, and in places where my soul didn’t feel home.
Where does this voice come from? What does it say? And beyond that, what does it want?
I believe it to be the voice of my intuition, my inner guidance, or as I call it my SoulHome. It’s always present within me, but I guess I’m not always tuned in to hear it, or let’s be honest, I hear it, but I don’t always want to listen to is. It’s a constant inner knowing deep down in my heart. When I’m still and turn my attention inwards, my inner perception locates a place at my core, somewhere in the middle of my chest, a very calm and peaceful place. A place that can light up with joy and love when I imagine the faces of my children. It feels so powerful that it could crack my ribs wide open, but when I focus on something that doesn’t reflect me, it becomes still and somehow serious. It doesn’t say much, doesn’t tell me any stories, I’m not even sure if it tells anything, but the words I formulate in my mind are: this isn’t me. I just know it, and when I keep going in life by ignoring this voice, it only grows louder inside me.
I know you can hear this inner voice too – in your own way – but you can. We all can. It sounds so easy, an inner compass that just tells you how to navigate your life, right?
Follow your intuition, and your life will unfold in miraculous ways…
Well, sure, but what if the direction you’re asked to take doesn’t make any sense, it requires an enormous step ahead towards a blurry future, a decision that might disappoint others, and anyway, what if you fail?
It might be your job, which is actually all right, although it doesn’t make you feel alive, and you’d wish for something else, but you don’t even know what that something else is. You feel all this potential within you, and you can envision a future scenario that lights you up from within, but you’re scared. Scared from the unknown. You convince yourself to hang on a bit longer to that job cause it’s paying your bills, and you’re not ready to risk your security. You might even fight with that inner voice and get really angry at it because it doesn’t go anywhere. You try to find countless excuses for why you should just stay where you’re. The inner dialogue that keeps you playing small might sound different, but the experience of your struggle is very similar. Your inner voice might ask you to be more social, and you respond in your head:
“I’m fine alone, I don’t need to see other people now. I need to focus on the things I want to accomplish, and I don’t have space or time for a partner in my life. Although, of course, if the perfect one would appear from nowhere, but no, remember, love hurts.”
What’s really happening here?
Your rational instinct (aka ego) isn’t willing to acknowledge that something needs to change, it’s trying to protect you from failure and is keeping you “safe.” It might ignite your passion for leaving your job and starting up your own business, but the thoughts which accompany your inspiration might be ‘I’m not good enough’ ‘I’m not worthy’ ‘I’m not ready for this’ ‘what if I fail’ ‘what if I’m rejected’, or ‘what if I humiliate myself’. This is your ego talking, your unconscious defense mechanism rooted in fear, which puts limitations on you.
On the other hand, your intuition, your powerful inner guiding force wants you to grow into your highest potential, into the happiest, and most fulfilled version of yourself. It might ask you to take steps when you don’t feel ready, to choose the path less traveled, to confront your fears and limitations, to play big, and recognize your own magnificence.
If you choose to ignore your intuition, a wave of uneasiness may come over you, you might feel something is off or just doesn’t feel right. Stress and anxiety might slowly creep in your life, and you might even develop some physical reactions, as some pressure in your chest or an uneasy gut. This is how it feels when we’re out of alignment with our True Self.
How can you shift out from your inner struggle?
Here are three simple steps which will set you free:
Step 1: Accept what IS
You feel this inner restlessness and maybe even the urge to change something, to take control over your situation, but you also feel some sort of resistance. Ignoring it or justifying yourself isn’t going to make it go away. Being hard on yourself or blaming others for your situation isn’t going to help either. Are you willing to see it differently?
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”
– Eckhart Tolle –
The moment you lay down your weapons and stop battling against your inner guidance, an invisible door opens. A door to your SoulHome, a peaceful place within your very core that leads to infinite possibilities.
Step 2: Identify your belief
When you’re resisting the natural flow of your life, an underlying belief might keep you stuck in fear. ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’, ‘I can’t earn money by following my passion’, ‘no one understands me’, or ‘I’m going to get hurt when I open my heart’. Guess what, you’re such a powerful magician, that you’ll create the reality you believe in. Your beliefs are so significant and true to you that they determine your entire life.
I learned as an anthropologist about the shockingly intense power of our beliefs, when I came across a phenomenon called the “voodoo” death, which is a term used for a sudden death brought about by a strong emotional shock, such as fear. In one of the documented cases from South-America, Tupinambá men of good health were condemned and sentenced by a so-called medicine man, who in their belief, exercises supernatural powers. Overcome by a sense of helplessness and panic, the young Indians died within a few days. The critical factor is the person’s knowledge of the magic spell or curse and their certainty that death will soon follow. This belief is backed up by the behavior of friends and relatives who treat the hexed person as though they are dying. Their sense of reality is affected by all this, and the curse to death becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The reality you’re experiencing right now is the accumulation of your beliefs. They might either propel you to or prevent you from living to your fullest potential. Take a moment, step back, and look at your life from a bird’s eye perspective. Practice becoming aware of what limiting belief(s) have stopped you from listening to your inner guidance and making the change until now.
What is holding you back from following your intuition?
What is limiting you from living a soulful life?
What are you afraid of?
What have you told yourself about you, your capabilities, love, others and the world around you?
Reflect upon whatever bubbles up from under the surface. Try to target only one belief at a time and take a look at how that particular belief shows up in your life and how it harms you.
Step 3: Break free
Beliefs are sometimes deeply woven into the fabric of our being and we might not heal them overnight. However, our beliefs are a choice, and choices can be changed.
Your reality is as it is, but if you perceive it as a disaster or an opportunity for something better, it’s up to you. The Austrian Holocaust survivor, psychiatrist, and author of ‘Man’s search for meaning” Viktor Frankl writes:
“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance,”
This is also true for what you choose to believe about yourself, the world, and people around you. Your reality is the catalyst for your own transformation. When you look at the “big picture” and become aware of your limiting beliefs, you discover what has been holding you back all along the way. Recognize that these beliefs don’t serve you any longer and choose again. It’s that simple. A belief is nothing more than a thought – a thought you unconsciously accepted to be true. Once you become aware of it, you have the power to erase and replace it.
You’re good enough! You’re lovable! You’re strong! Set yourself free and create a new reality with infinite possibilities.
Author: Gabriella Csanádi
Photo Source: Nick Karvounis