What would be your purpose on the other side of fear?
As one of my favorite actors, Will Smith said recently: “The BEST things in life are on the other side of fear.” Is that true for living our purpose? Are our fears blocking us from experiencing the fulfillment and joy we’re yearning for? Are we afraid of growing into our authentic Self – the person we are meant to be?
Oh hell yes we are! I often hear people say they don’t know what their purpose is. They strive to be valued, accepted, successful, or to be seen as having it all together, but in the meantime, they are feeling confused, restless, and disconnected from their heart. They spend days in jobs that don’t fulfill them, expect someone else to fill that void within them, and make them feel complete. They deeply desire to find their purpose, but don’t know how?
What if I tell you, stop looking for your purpose and allow your purpose to find you. I was one of the purpose hunters for a long time, and I felt probably just like you a great potential within me to make a difference. In times, it just felt inside me like in a pressure cooker, the inner tension and restlessness were unbearable. Especially when I was not listening to my inner voice – my intuition and inner guidance.
Do you hear that inner voice? Not the chatter in your head, but that inner voice from deep within, the one that knows the direction and the one that doesn’t say a lot. It’s just there. It might call you on a certain path, even if it makes no sense at all, but you’re rejecting the idea and shutting down that conversation between you and that inner voice. This might happen because you’re simply afraid of what you’re asked to do and deep down you might believe…
I’m not good enough…
I’m not worthy…
I’m not lovable…
I’m not safe…
I don’t belong…
These are core limiting beliefs – unconscious stories, convictions, judgments – we hold underneath all our ‘surface’ thoughts and beliefs to be absolutely true, and many times, we don’t even notice them. They determine how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we perceive the world at large. They can be things that we have adopted throughout the course of our entire life, usually starting in childhood.
One of my core limiting beliefs – “I don’t belong…” – manifested itself through the experience of living abroad as a child and after a year returning to my home country. Living in another culture changed me and how I saw the world. The challenge was, I felt there wasn’t really anyone back home who would understand me, with whom I could share what I went through. As an 11-year-old, I didn’t have the self-knowledge to express, nor to process my struggle. I adapted to the new circumstances because of my desire to fit in. My personality hasn’t changed and I was still the gentle, easygoing, sarcastic, and understanding girl who wants to please others, but deep down, I lost my sense of belonging. I felt like an outsider, and I could barely fit in with anyone. I just didn’t feel home. I didn’t belong in my own country, in my own family, in my friendships and later in my relationships.
For a long time, I wasn’t even aware of my core wound because it was wedded to the very fabric of my self-identity. I changed countries, partners, jobs, and after some time, the feeling of “I don’t belong here” surfaced again. Today I know, somehow I created these experiences to heal my core limiting belief- my core wound. As Rumi wrote it beautifully:
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
I came to a point in my life where I was ready to throw the towel again and change all my external circumstances – the country I live in, the relationship I have and the work I do. My soul was restless, and the feeling of ‘I don’t belong here’ became insuppressible. So, I asked myself: Why am I still having this experience? I am on the spiritual path for decades, and I have been doing my inner work, or at least I thought so. I recognized this core limiting belief of mine some time ago, but I still felt powerless in changing it. This is who I’m, and this is how I have been operating for so long. How do I get passed all of this? And most of all who am I going to be if not this restless soul I know so well?
I was going through this inner earthquake when Deep Coaching found me. I felt for a long time that my purpose is to help people and be at service, but I didn’t know how I could fully live my purpose. For a long time, I was trying to fix my life and solve the challenges when they rise: health problems, emotional baggage, thought patterns, drained energy, but they only got me so far. So, there I was with my core wound and the question of how can I heal it?
I realized the healing starts within me. Through Deep Coaching, I learned to shine the light of awareness on my mind’s recesses and learned to allow healing moments. I was willing to leave no stone unturned, no corner unexplored. I was ready to heal, ready to release what I have been learned about myself to be true and gradually my way of being shifted. Attending to my core wound led me to an inner transformation. I cleared the pathway to my authentic Self and felt slowly more and more home. My deeper essence, the unchanging part of me, the place I call SoulHome (link) is where I belong! I realized I am a free soul and not a restless soul. I have been creating the reality I’m living in, and I’m free to choose differently. I choose to create my life from the inside out, by living in alignment with my true Self. Today, in retrospective, I see, I was afraid of letting go of the control and allowing my life to unfold organically. My own fears were blocking me from growing into the person I’m meant to be.
Healing my core limiting belief helped me to align with my purpose. It feels like I liberated my soul and now I know what is on the other side of fear: all the inner peace, joy, love, and fulfillment I was yearning for so long. It was not easy, it was difficult and uncomfortable at times, but it was absolutely worth it to make the deep dive.
Do you have the COURAGE to make the deep dive and embrace your magnificence?
Author: Gabriella Csanádi
Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash