WHY YOU SHOULDN’T LET YOUR SHADOW BLOCK YOUR LIGHT?
We all have parts we’ve hidden, denied, and suppressed into our inner closet. There is a whole storehouse for unexpressed parts within us – OUR SHADOW SIDE.
We don’t like to look at those parts or talk about them. We don’t want to show them to the world, and usually, we’re not even aware of their existence.
WE UNCONSCIOUSLY RESIST THESE PARTS, but they show up in moments of tension, stress, temptations, or tiredness.
You might meet your shadow by feeling guilt, shame, anger, weakness, fear….
It’s uncomfortable and even painful to look at the “dark” side of us, but you should know.
OUR SHADOW IS A PERFECTLY NATURAL COMPANION.
IT IS NOT WHO WE TRULY ARE, MERELY A FACET OF OUR EGO.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not
– C. G. Jung –
WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE A SHADOW?
In order to be loved and accepted, we learned as children to fit in and hide away those parts that were not accepted by our parents, family members, and society in general. Everything that was considered ugly, wrong, shameful, weird. We’ve adopted only those traits and behaviors that were met with open arms.
That’s how I became the “good girl”… easygoing, understanding, helpful, and always trying to make others happy.
There is nothing wrong with being there for others, but deep down, there were parts of me I didn’t fully acknowledge and owned:
…my spirituality and sensitivity that was considered weird by many family members and friends
…my anger about all the injustice in our world
…my frustration of trying to live up to the expectations of others’ and getting into the cogwheel of society
…my feeling of not being understood
…my sense of not belonging
…my fear of being rejected and not being loved or accepted for who I truly am.
These are all my WOUNDED PARTS. Wounds that were created by living through experiences that were too painful to deal with at that time. The pain I wasn’t able to process.
MY VERY OWN TRUMAN SHOW
The longer I repressed these shadow parts, the more I repeated painful experiences which activated and made my wounds deeper and deeper.
Every time I re-experienced the “pain of not being understood,” it merged with the past pain, which was already there. It reinforced my belief, “I’m really not understood,” over and over again.
This accumulated pain is what Eckhart Tolle calls THE EMOTIONAL PAIN BODY.
MOST OF THE PEOPLE LIVE ALL THEIR LIVES THROUGH THEIR PAIN BODY (without being aware of it) and experience it in certain situations, such as intimate relationships and experiences that trigger past hurt.
OMG, for how long I felt not understood by my boyfriends. 😆
But there was a turning point. It was unbearable to hide my True Self anymore. My soul was shouting out and wanted to be listened to. Back then, I felt completely exhausted, frustrated, and lost. I just couldn’t ignore and repress my restlessness and fears anymore. The only thing I deeply desired was to be myself…entirely, unapologetically, fearlessly.
HOW I MADE PEACE WITH MY SHADOW?
By shining the light of consciousness into my pain.
WORKING WITH MY SHADOW HAS BEEN AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH…an ongoing processing of my stuff intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Existential healing. What accelerated my forward momentum was Deep Transformational Coaching.
There is no recipe for working with the shadow, but if you want to hold your gifts out to the world, don’t resist it.
Be with it.
Let it go.
“Both light and shadow are the dance of Love” –
– Rumi –
Author: Gabriella Csanádi
Banner Photo: Ioana Cristiana on Unsplash